I finally gave in and did it.

Please find me at my new blog:

http://www.shewaswrite.com

Goodbye wordpress! It’s been real.

Always pining for the lighter day,
when the burden seemed less to bear,
and there was so much less to miss
because I thought it would never end:
I thought, you would always be right here,
just around the bend,
just around the bend.

I often imagine glancing out my window,
and seeing you there, smelling the garden flowers,
and with a wink and teasing smile
you would look at me as if to say,
Well, it’s been quite awhile.
It’s been quite awhile.

I am nothing but a simple man,
who has walked through this world of woe
to find there is no solace without a friend;
and that as far away as you may roam,
when you at last return to my door,
I too am finally home,
I too am finally home.

This semester I had an American literature class that completely fueled my passion for twentieth century American literature, so much so that I would now consider it my favorite literary genre and what I would pursue in graduate school if I go for English. I also took a Literary Theory class that turned out to be the best class I’ve ever taken in college. It taught me more than any other class ever has and it changed my perspectives and way of thinking about the world in ways that I don’t even think I fully comprehend. Those afternoons of back-to-back English classes truly fueled my love for literature and reminded me why I am pursuing this discipline. My two Sociology classes were wonderful and I completed my foreign language requirement through an independent Greek study.

A part from wonderful classes, I also participated research and won 1^st place at a social science conference, had the opportunity to be a producer/actress/director of the Vagina Monologues, had another wonderful and blessed time as president of F-Word, got a job as a tutor at the Writing Center and started significantly working with a friend and professor towards an initiative to have a Women’s/Gender Resource Center at our school. I also considered many parts of my future and made some difficult, albeit absolutely right decisions.

All in all, this semester I strengthened many friendships, gained some new one’s and was given many opportunities. I had some wonderful experiences and learned many lessons. Ultimately, this semester was the best one I’ve ever had and it was also some of the best months of my life. I know I say it all the time, but somehow the words are never exhausted: I am so blessed.

Behold, we know not anything;
I can but trust that good shall fall
At last–far off–at last, to all,
And every winter shall change to spring.
-Alfred Tennyson

(my favorite flower, from my mother’s garden)

1. Jacques Derrida can and will deconstruct you anytime, anywhere (without messing up his hair).

2. English Majors construct all of REALITY. What do you have? A periodic table?

3. The Lion King is classist racist smut.

4. That Asian woman you screwed is actually a man, but luckily for you gender is just a construct!

5. God is a lie, love is a lie, and truth is a lie, but conveniently that 12 page paper isvery real.

6. Irigaray proves some feminists really are crazy.

7. We’re all a little bit Queer.

8. Women are commodities to be traded among men, just like fucking Pokémon cards.

9. It feels so good to be BAD [subjects].

10. Jacques Derrida always goes deeper…(and you know you like it)

This week I finished one of my better, more sophisticated English papers in my undergraduate experience. It took me weeks to write and to be honest, it is probably still filled with endless amounts of errors. As I read through it an hour before I was about to hand it in all I could think of was how inadequate I felt and how simple minded my writing sounded. There are moments I feel that I have such good, rich thoughts but as I put my pen to the paper (or my fingers to the keyboard), there is a slippage in the essence of what I am thinking and what I am actually communicating. Dealing with this frustration has given me a greater and more sincere appreciation for literature and more respect for good writers. Although I may be more confident in the English language than others, there are moments I read esteemed literature  and I think that I am thousands of miles away from ever truly being a “good” writer. Being an English major has taught me many things, but it has especially taught me this: I have always valued wonderful writing. I am in awe of it now.

As I work with a few others on an initiative to start a Women’s Services/Gender Resource Center at my school, I am trying to remember Margaret Mead’s words. I am very hopeful that with enough commitment and passion this really can happen. If I can walk away from my undergraduate years knowing that I was a part of something like this, I really would be happy forever.

A good friend’s grandmother is dying
in a nursing home down the road.
I should go visit her before she departs,
but I am selfish and prefer to remember her
sitting at the kitchen table, eating pretzels.

Jesus healed the sick and fed the poor
but then He cried in a garden
and was hung on a cross.
I have no map for this life, but I tend to see:
every good story
moves us towards death.

This experience was very different than last year’s. I performed a piece entitled “A Teenage Girl’s Guide To Surviving Sex Slavery” which was much different than the funny, light-hearted piece I did last year. Each piece stirred different things within me and taught me new things.  Both were powerful experiences.

The Monologues is at times harsh, hard to hear, difficult to watch, sad, happy, powerful, convicting, strange, funny, tragic and outrageous. Ultimately though, it talks about issues that are so commonly left unspoken. It brings many truths into the light. I am simply proud to be a part of something like that. I am very thankful to have been so involved in this years production and I look forward to the years ahead.