My friend Andrew and I wrote this for a gift for our English professor. It is 10 things we’ve learned in our Literary Theory class this spring, all of which are obviously jokes that you just “had to be there” to understand. It was an amazing class. So, for those of you who were there or have some strange understanding of the literary theory discipline, here are “The Ten Things You Learn In Literary Theory.”
1. Jacques Derrida can and will deconstruct you anytime, anywhere (without messing up his hair).
2. English Majors construct all of REALITY. What do you have? A periodic table?
3. The Lion King is classist racist smut.
4. That Asian woman you screwed is actually a man, but luckily for you gender is just a construct!
5. God is a lie, love is a lie, and truth is a lie, but conveniently that 12 page paper isvery real.
6. Irigaray proves some feminists really are crazy.
7. We’re all a little bit Queer.
8. Women are commodities to be traded among men, just like fucking Pokémon cards.
9. It feels so good to be BAD [subjects].
10. Jacques Derrida always goes deeper…(and you know you like it)
